Think about a horse sitting down like a dog and tell me that isn’t really funny
no need to imagine
I AM SO HAPPY
Plot twist: Social and funny in real life, awkward on the internet
i want to study at a British university
i will spell color as colour and use degrees celcius. i would watch Sherlock on BBC all night while drinking a cuppa tea with my flatmates. i’ll have fish and chips every day that’s worth 5 quid. i would go to gaff parties every night. i am also more likely to meet chavs, One Direction, Ed Sheeran and the Queen.
i wish i was british :(
fuck off, we dont want u here
At Stanford there was this Professor who was a total bitch and she taught British Literature, which was cool. Except she taught only her opinions of the books and it didn’t help me as a writer. I went to school to learn new things to improve my craft, not have someone else’s opinions carved onto my forehead.
So anyway, for our final project, she asked us to write a ten page paper on why the color symbolism in Othello was so significant. I did some research and it turned out that she did her entire graduate thesis on this very subject. I was mad. This wasn’t teaching, this was boosting her ego. SO I wrote a ten page essay on why color symbolism in Othello wasn’t significant, satirizing it to the point of no return, saying that her opinion was an opinion and shouldn’t be taken seriously.
SHe failed me, needless to say. So in retaliation, I responded by baking a batch of brownies laced with weed and laxatives and delivered them myself to the professor hours before her big graduation speech. I told her that it was a peace offering, my way of apologizing and asking if I could do anything to fix my grade.
She refused to fix my grade.
In the end, she shit herself on stage.
I didn’t regret it.
english lit majors don’t fuck around
man i wish homophobic people were actually AFRAID of gay people like could you imagine having the power to strike fear in peoples hearts with your homo
"If I do not have one trazillion dollars on my doorstep by noon tomorrow, I swear I will KISS THIS WOMAN on the MOUTH in front of your children.”
finishing a series but still being attached to the story and its characters